Healing is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-love. In this episode, we discuss some tips on how to start the healing process.
Tip 1: Acknowledge your pain
The first step in healing is to acknowledge your pain. It’s okay to admit that you are hurting and that you need help. Sometimes, we try to push our pain aside and ignore it, but this only prolongs the healing process. By acknowledging our pain, we can start to work through it and find ways to heal.
This is where the art of self-preservation comes in.
From the moment i began teaching this workshop about 8 years ago, I realized very quickly how necessary it was to hone in on not only why feeling is necessary, but HOW to feel our emotions and to allow ourselves to experience them fully. By doing so, we can digest them, allow the residual nutrients of those experiences to nourish our internal fortitude and add to the scaffolding of our own burgeoning wisdom. Then we can move forward in our healing journey.
Tip 2: Find a support system
Healing is not a journey that we can take alone.
As bell hooks so brilliantly said: “Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
It’s important to find a support system that can help us through the difficult times. This could be a therapist, a friend, a family member, or a support group. Having people who understand and support us can make a huge difference in our healing journey.
Cultivating and strengthening your own art of self-preservation also involves surrounding ourselves with people who uplift us and inspire us to be our best selves. We all deserve to be in spaces that honor us and that we should create boundaries that protect our emotional well-being.
Tip 3: Practice self-care
Self-care is an important part of the healing process. And i think by now most of us realize that self care is about a lot more than taking a bath. Although, that’s a pretty delicious practice when we incorporate healing rituals, herbs and as many senses as possible in the experience.
It’s important to take care of our physical, emotional, and mental health. This could include things like getting enough sleep, exercising, eating healthy, and taking time for ourselves. Intentional care of self can help us feel better and more equipped to handle the challenges that come with healing.
And caring for ourselves well, spaciously, lavishly, and joyfully is not selfish, but rather it’s necessary for an optimized sense of well-being. By prioritizing self-care, we can recharge and show up as our best selves, for ourselves.
Tip 4: Forgive yourself and others
Forgiveness is a key part of the healing process. Holding onto grudges and resentment can prevent us from moving forward and healing.
I remember the moment I released myself from holding the resentment and sadness I had towards my father. I spent the majority of my life in waiting and longing and feeling rejected and betrayed because of all the promises my younger self remembered that were never fulfilled.
I was sitting in front of my boyfriends apartment 11 years ago talking to my father on the phone. I told him about my fears of commitment, my struggle trusting men throughout my dating life and how i used to make up stories about him when i was little so i didn’t feel like such an outcast among my friends who had traditional nuclear families.
He didn’t hear me. And instead his response communicated to my adult self that he didn’t have the capacity to be who i needed when i was a child and he was yet to even fully develop into manhood at the time. It’s easy to feel hurt when you imagine the person was aware of the harm they caused. To take it personally and wear that pain like a heavy cloak into every room you enter. But when you can see and feel the complete disconnect, it no longer feels personal. And you realize that heavy cloak had someone else’s name on it all along.
Forgiveness frees you. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it does mean letting go of the negative emotions that come with it. forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. By letting go of the past and forgiving ourselves and others, we can move forward and create a more aligned future for ourselves.
Tip 5: Be patient with yourself
Lastly… be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. In fact, it never ends. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t see progress right away. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination.
And healing is cyclical. Just as the season come and go. The moon and sun do their dance to honor the days and nights, so should we honor our own timelines. Trust the process and believe that you are capable of healing and growth.
In the end, it can be easy to justify staying stuck, spinning the same stories, recounting time and time again that “this is just who i am” all the while blaming the ghosts of our pasts or the dreams never fulfilled for our dissatisfaction, challenging relationships, difficult circumstances etc etc.
Those stories are addictive. And releasing them or allowing them to move through us and into the world in a different way, also means allowing certain relationships that were formed through the bonding of our traumas to also move through and possibly out of lives.
And if our stories are healed. And our relationships no longer fit our wholeness…then where do we belong? What will take its place?
That’s scary stuff.
But remember, healing is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-love. By acknowledging our pain, finding a support system, practicing intentional self-care, forgiving ourselves and others, and being patient, we can move our bodies, minds and sprits into alignment with the path that was designed for us from the start. And that alignment brings healing in ways we may not even be able to imagine for as long as we are on this ride called life.
As always, it is my pleasure to share, connect and grow alongside you as we do the work of staying with ourselves no matter what.
Until next time. Take good care.
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